This is an excerpt from Kay’s book The Evidential Medium: A Practical Guide for the Developing Medium.
There I was standing in front of my peers bringing everything I had when I heard it. Just there on the back two rows sat a small group of experienced mediums. Mediums who had worked as mediums for ten, fifteen, and even twenty years. And, there I stood in front of all of them, shaking as if I were naked to the bone.
Earlier, I had watched one by one, all the other mediums in the class stand up to give their demonstration. No one had to force them. They stood with confidence as if they had done this many times before and they had. They were all so polished in how they delivered the evidence. There were no long pauses, no umm or I think or I’m not sure coming from these mediums. Just evidence that seemed to roll off their lips one piece after another. I was in awe. I could sit there all day and watch them work.
Me, I sat in my seat praying that when it was my turn, someone from the spirit world would come. The longer I sat, the worse my nerves became. I was literally shaking. My heart was pounding. I did not want to get up in front of everyone and try to make a contact with the spirit world. I questioned why I was even there. Who was I in this room full of wonderful mediums to think I was a medium? I asked my guide to come. I couldn’t feel him. Where was he?
It wasn’t that I was afraid to stand and speak in front of an audience. I had done that many times. As a teacher in Texas, I often spoke at teacher conventions. I spoke to school boards, spoke at principal conferences and I also taught teachers. So standing in front of people wasn’t the problem.
The problem with standing in front of a room to do mediumship is there is no preparing what you are going to say. As a speaker at conventions, I had an outline. I had a PowerPoint. I knew exactly what I was going to present. It’s not that way as a medium. As a medium you stand there naked. No script. No outline to follow. Naked.
You don’t know what is going to happen. You don’t know who will show up. You don’t know if anyone in the audience will be able to take the information you are sharing. You are at the mercy of the spirit world and your own power within. You bring all you have to offer and hope, pray it is enough to make the contact.
I was just a beginner on this day. What I had to offer, in my opinion, was not much. I was not like all the other mediums in the room. So there I sat, scared of what would happen once I made my way to the front of the room.
Everyone in the room, all 23 of the other mediums had stood at the front and gave a reading. I was the only one left. I stood up, walked past the group in the back. I heard one of them gasp. Why did she gasp? Was she gasping at me? I wanted to run. Run right through the door, down the hall and out to my car to never come back. The pit in my stomach was turning. I thought to myself, I can’t do this.
Kay Reynolds is a medium, public speaker and author of the new book The Evidential Medium: A Practical Guide for the Developing Medium coming in 2020. She trained as a medium at the prestigious Arthur Findlay College under the mentoring of Mavis Pittilla one of the college’s longest-standing tutors. She is a published writer being featured in OMTimes Magazine. Kay can be reached at www.kayreynolds.org