Welcome to My World: 10 Tips for New Mediums
A friend, who wishes not to be named, is always complaining about the spirit world doing numerous antics to gain attention. I always say, “Welcome to my world.”
Being a medium is not easy. The spirit world and the living seem to always pull you in many directions. If you’re not careful, it can be a long and lonely path. I often felt as if I was on the outside looking in and I always knew I was different but, didn’t understand how I was different or why. Growing up was weird. I often found myself wanting to be alone even though secretly I wanted to be with my friends. I know that is a contradiction but, it is the truth.
What I know now is being with my friends was difficult because I absorbed their energy and it would become too much for me to handle. If they were sad, I would become sad. At times, I would instinctively know their thoughts which could be a double-edged sword if their thoughts were about me. It was easier to keep my distance. As I got older, the communication with the spirit world was more prevalent. I learned quickly to not mention seeing dead people to my friends. My mom was my only confidant.
As an adult, my curiosity grew stronger by the day. I was hungry to understand why and how. When I was around 47, I decided to stop ignoring and embrace the weirdness I was experiencing.
Along the journey, I learned a lot about myself and those around me. Oh if I only knew then what I know now! I’ve put together a few tips for you who are just now coming into your spiritual path or who have finally decided to get serious with it.
Find the Perfect Mentor for You
I have been very fortunate to have had tutors from the Arthur Findlay College: The Foremost College for the Advancement of Spiritualism and Psychic Studies in Stansted, England. They are known worldwide as the elite college to learn mediumship.
Very early on, I had two tutors tell me to choose one tutor to learn from because different tutors have different philosophies and styles of teaching. They also said, if you are going to choose more than one, then choose tutors who have similar philosophies or who have been mentored by the same tutor.
This is what I did. I had one main mentor who was trained by Gordon Higginson but, also learned from other tutors who were trained by Gordon. They all had similar philosophies.
If you have many different tutors, it may become confusing. The tutors may contradict each other and then you won’t know who to believe. It will affect your style of mediumship too.
My advice is to find a tutor that resonates with your soul. I knew immediately who would be my mentor. She resonated with my soul. The other tutors trained by Gordon did as well but, there was a little something extra with my mentor.
Be Kind to Yourself
Mediums are their own worst critic! Hey, we’ve all be there. You take a course and quickly discover many mediums who are far more developed than you. You want to slide down your chair, unto the floor and slither out like a snake while praying no one notices you.
Been there. Done that.
It’s intimidating to work with more experienced mediums. It’s hard. I know! On one hand you want so badly to be as good as them but, on the other hand, you don’t want to embarrass yourself by showing how little you know.
You have to flip the negative and find the positive. Study the mediums who impress you. Learn from them. Practice, practice, and then practice some more. You will get there! Celebrate every milestone you make along the way.
Most importantly, remember they were once exactly where you are today!
Another word of caution. It is normal for mediums to be up, down and all over the place through their journey. Even tutors at the Arthur Findlay College have their bad days. It’s true. I’ve witnessed it myself. I never know where I will be on the mediumship roller coaster. It’s all part of the journey. I like to think of mediumship like a box of chocolate. You never know what you’re going to get. Forest Gump may have been onto something!
Sit back, enjoy the ride, and be kind to yourself.
The Spiritual Closet
The spirit closet is a real struggle for us mediums. I was in the spiritual closet for most of my life. My mom was the only one I talked to about my visits from the spirit world. Others would laugh at me when I would mention things so, I retreated into the closet and was quite happy there.
To this day, there are still a few friends and family members who don’t know I do this. If they were to ask, I’d tell them. It’s taken me a long time to get this far.
If you are like me, I get you. It’s hard to take rejection from people you love.
Here’s what I learned when I finally came out of the spiritual closet. There really are people out there that will be cool with it all you do. Some people will think it’s awesome and will let you know. Others may not say anything and will continue to be your friend and talk to you even if they don't agree.
I personally have not had anyone refuse to speak to me because of me being a medium. They may disagree but, accept me as I am.
I also learned of friends and family members who had similar experiences as me and I never knew. I’ve been able to help them as their gifts unfold.
Go at your own pace. When you are ready to tell others, you will know!
It is no one’s business unless you want it to be.
There will always be those people who drive you crazy or drain your energy once they know you are a psychic or medium.
Pesky people are:
Always asking for a FREE reading
Contact you only when they want FREE advice
Expect you to give FREE advice on demand
Recruit friends of friends for you to give FREE readings to
In fairness to your pesky friends, I understand to some extent, where they are coming from when they want free advice or readings.
This is new to them. It’s exciting and cool!
They don’t understand how working with energy works.
They are clueless about how draining it is for you.
They don’t understand that mediums turn it on and off
They don’t realize that communicating with the dead while sipping on a margarita is not a good idea.
They don’t see this as an income for you. They see it as fun.
Look, for some of these friends, educating them on how draining it is on you or letting them know you only work in this way by appointment is all you really need to do.
For others, handing them your business card, thanking them for choosing you to be their medium and showing them how to make an appointment is enough to make them leave you alone. If they are serious about a reading and respect you, they will make an appointment and gladly pay for your service.
For your closest friends, the ones you wouldn’t want to charge for a reading, you can always have a night out where you practice giving each a reading. This way, everyone is happy. They get a mini reading and you get in some extra practice.
Remember to honor yourself, protect your own energy levels, and don’t feel bad handing an acquaintance your card.
It’s Not Your Job to Justify Being a Medium
I know people are naturally curious and want to know how and why. I’ve had friends who want to know but, they ask in a way to educate themselves because this is a new concept for them. I am always happy to explain things to people when they are genuine with their questions.
It’s those who want to be confrontational that I refuse to entertain.
You cannot justify why you were born a medium any more than you cannot justify why you were born into your family or why you born a male or a female. We are who we are, period.
The whole religious thing…
Many mediums struggle with being a medium due to what they were taught in the Bible. It is a legitimate concern. I grew up going to Sunday school and church every Sunday. In fact, we went to church three times a week.
I’ve never struggled with the religious aspects. I’ve always known, even as a child, there was far more to what I was learning in church.
It is my belief, that we as mediums must have a close connection with God or the creator of all. It is a part of what we do. You can be religious, spiritual or however you choose as long as you believe in a higher power.
For me, God is in everything I do especially when I work.
I don’t know enough about the Bible to talk on this matter but, I do have a book I can refer you to. It is called “The Bible: The Truth About Psychics & Spiritual Gifts” by Kevin Schoeppel.
Kevin Schoeppel fell in love with a psychic. This went against his religious beliefs. He began questioning his beliefs and even questioned if the Bible was God’s Word. Once he was convinced it was God’s Word, he studied it intensely.
Much to his surprise, he found out directly from the Bible:
That psychic and mediumship abilities are true spiritual gifts
God doesn’t hate psychics.
He explains what spiritual gifts exist
Kevin married this young girl and went on to write two more books on the subject. You can find his books here.
Don’t Worry About the What and Why of Mediumship
I am so guilty of this! I’m an educator so I naturally want to know the ends and outs, the what and the whys and the ups and the downs on everything. I am naturally hungry for knowledge.
I emerged myself in courses and mentorships once I decided to go full speed ahead. To be fair to myself, I had a sense of urgency because
I didn’t know how long I would live in the United Kingdom
I wanted my training to come from the best mediums in the world and in my opinion, England offers the best of the best
As my dad told me, I’m not getting any younger so get on with it
At times, it was too much too quickly. I had to force myself to step back and let some of what I learned to sink in before I took on new learning.
Take baby steps at first
Learn each step well before moving on
As your knowledge grows, it’s okay to pick up your pace
Be patient. The what, the why, and the how will begin to take shape
Don’t compare yourself to other mediums
I already touched on this earlier. Gordon Higginson began his training as a young child. He did his first public demonstration of mediumship in a church at the age of TEN. He sat in a circle (a circle is a gathering of mediums who come to learn and practice their gifts) and continued to study to improve himself up until his death.
You’re never good enough to stop learning. So if you find yourself in a circle or workshop just know, we are all on the same path and we are all trying to better our craft.
It doesn’t matter where you are on the journey. The only thing that matters is you are on the journey!
Reading books about mediumship is a great way to get started. For some of us, it is the only way to gather information or confirmation on what we are experiencing.
I do caution about believing everything you read. There could be some misguided information floating around out there. It is okay to question what you read in fact I encourage you to!
Trust your soul’s instincts.
Find books from authors who have done extensive research and studies on mediumship. There are several tutors from the Arthur Findlay College who have written books. These tutors have gone through extensive studies of the mediums of the past and all the scientific research that has been done on spirit communication.
Here are just a few:
Emma Hardinge Bitten
Mavis Pittilla, Paul Jacobs, and Tony Stockwell are all modern day mediums. Mavis was Gordon Higginson’s first student and Paul was Gordon’s last student. Tony Stockwell was a student of Mavis. All three of these mediums travel to the USA and other parts of the world regularly to give workshops.
The other’s I mentioned played an important role in the history of mediumship. These are only a few. These books can be found on Amazon. They all can be purchased here but, you will be paying in British Pounds.
Ooh, how I loathe medium envy. I don’t get it guys. Why does this even exist?
We are on a spiritual path. Shouldn’t we behave in a way to lift each other up? Being a medium is hard enough on its own. We really don’t need to be battling other mediums who are the envy of our success.
I’ve been fortunate to meet many mediums from around the world who support and lift each other up. I know I can lean on them in times of need. I know when I hit the bottom of the mediumship roller coaster they will lift me and encourage me to keep going.
We mediums need this kind of support!
What we have to remember is medium envy towards you is not about you. It is about the medium who envies you and how they feel about their own development.
Don’t take it personally. It’s really a compliment in disguise. Hold your head high and keep on trucking.
Find a tribe who will lift you.
Step away from the envy or drama.
Walk your truth
In the end, all we can do is walk our truth. You know you are walking your truth when your soul’s purpose is aligned perfectly with your actions.
My final advice to you is to bask in the joy of your spiritual experience here on Earth and allow your soul to dance freely.